Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
　　 钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡.
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
　   每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃.
　　 Success is a relative term. It brings s

A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities. "
His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It’s impossible --you never brush your teeth after c

Brown: I'm sorry to see you so unwell. Have you seen the doctor?
Smith:  Yes, I'm having three baths a day.
Brown: What for?
Smith:  Don't know, doctor's orders. He gave me some medicine and told me to follow the directions on the bottle, which read: "One ta

"May I borrow your record player tonight ?" a man asked his neighbour .
"Sure . Do you want to listen to some music?"
"No ." he answered ." Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet."
“今晚我可以借用以下你的唱机吗？”一个人对他的邻居说道。
“当然可以，你也想听听音乐吗？”
“不，”他回答道，“今晚我想安安静静地休息一下。”

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. A boy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as

One guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back？"
　　一个男人问医生：“大夫，我妻子嗓子说不出话。我应该做些什么才能帮助

Do You Know My Work？
　　One night a hotel caught fire，and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.
　　一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来。
　　Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
　　两个人站在外面，看着大火。
　　"Before I came out," said one," I ran into some of the rooms and found

愚蠢的问题 Stupid Question
　　Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"

摘要：
    老鼠玩儿冲浪，蟾蜍结婚……在人与动物共同相处的这个世界里，总会有许多奇闻轶事发生。在2005年末，路透社综合报道了在这一年中发生的人和动物间的稀奇古怪事。
    Dogs went woof over a Brazilian puppy love motel, an Australian trained mice to surf the waves and an Indian village married off toads in bid for rain.
   

  日前，一名醉醺醺的乘客因为对英国皇家航空公司的机组乘务人员口出不逊，被中途留在了靠近非洲大陆的一个小岛上。
    据路透社12月30日援引《每日邮报》的报道说，这架空中客车飞机是由英格兰北部飞往西班牙度假胜地特内里费岛的。在机组方面拒绝向其提供更多的酒水后，这名乘客开始大肆辱骂相关人员，于是机长便决定将此人"丢弃"到大西洋上一个名叫圣波尔图的小岛上。该岛由裸露的火山岩形成，长、宽仅为1

妈妈学英文
妈妈学英文(一)
有一天,我正在看ＶＣＤ,老妈捧了一本书进来.
老妈:「这个"I don't know."是什么意思?」
我说:「我不知道.」
老妈:「送你上大学读了几年,你怎么什么都不知道?!」
我说:「不是!就是"我不知道"嘛!」
老妈:「还嘴硬!」
说完

　　"Father,"said Jimmy, running into the living-room, "there's a big black cat in the dining-room."
　　"Never mind, Jimmy,"said Father drowsily, "black cats are lucky."
　　"This one is; he's just had your dinner!"
　　幸运猫
　　吉米奔进客厅喊道:"爸爸,餐厅里有一只大黑猫呢!"
　　父亲懒洋洋地说:"没有关系.吉米,黑猫是幸运猫."
　　"它的确很幸运:它刚把你的晚饭给吃了."

    我曾写过一个帖子

A London Fog
It was a very foggy day in London． The fog was so thick that it was impossible to see more than a foot or so． Buses，cars and taxis w

109．Ancestors
Benson was a Boston merchant and very proud of his handwriting and his ancestry． After giving a Jew salesman a norder， he gazed at his signature and said：“Pretty good writing that．Do you know one of my ancestors signed the Declaration of Independence？”
“oh， well，” said the Jew，“you haf not tings on me，vun