Perfect Match
A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he

I knew I could count on you!
Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage."
"We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss,"

有一户华人在美国开了一家中国餐

Lawyer and Engineer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here

１．浪漫数学 ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
精明的男人＋精明的女人＝浪漫
Smart man + smart woman = romance
精明的男人＋愚蠢的女人＝私通
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
愚蠢的男人＋精明的女人＝婚姻
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
愚蠢的男人＋愚蠢的女人＝怀孕
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
２． 购

1． we two who and who？
咱俩谁跟谁阿
2． how are you ? how old are you?
怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3． you don't bird me,I don't bird you
你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
4． you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers！together up ！
你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！
5． hello everybody!if you have something to say,t

说英语也有性别之分
语言本是人们沟通的工具，没有性别之分，但由于男女的社会分工、性格特色、生理特点不同，每一种语言都深深地打上了性别的烙印。在国外，有部分社会语言学家，专门研究语言与性别的关系。美国有一位学者Graham Goodwin，从1980年到1990年，先后十次，在费城街头，收集不同年龄、种族、职业的男、女行人的谈话，进行比较研究，结果发现，与男人的语言相比，女人的语言至少有下列特点。
A 女人喜欢使用第一人称复数(我们)形

MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want.

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. th

 
　　Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
　　The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cak

 
My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow
　　A

 
    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has
    the following exchange:
　　Officer:
　　May I see your driver's license?
　　Driver:
　　I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
　　Officer:
　　May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

A Different Kind Of Audience
Al Smith was governor of New York State． He was a fa mous man． He was born very poor on the East Side of New York City． He had little education． He worked very hard and won great success．
One day， as governor， he was visiting the state prison at

Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of