A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put

Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today.
"It works like this ," she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet -- Robert Burns, for instance." She told us to th

FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
  未来：女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来；男人找到妻子后开始担心未来。
2. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark

A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow

One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, "Mommy, what‘s puberty?" My wife was rushed at the moment, so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dic

A man spoke frantically (疯狂地）into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!" the ma

Reversal of Roles
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husba

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren‘t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other woman replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man either"
在一个鸡尾酒舞会上

Mother: Betty acts like a furnace, when it is time to practice her piano lesson.
Father: Why? Does she get all steamed up? (变的兴奋，激动)
Mother: No,

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and ex

Dear Father,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply don't think of anything I need, $

A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful.
"Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?"
"Nobody g

Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:
10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bar

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a mom

Thank Goodness!
Emma: The teacher asked me if I was the only child.
Father: What did you say?
Emma: I said yes -- then she said, "Thank goodness!"
谢天谢地!
埃玛：老师问我是不是家里的独生女儿？
父亲：你怎么说的？
埃玛：我说是的 －然后她说：“谢天谢地!"
NOTE
the only chi