A Girl Just Like Mother
No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice．
“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound

Bob: My car doesn't have a speedometer.
Rob: Then how do you know how fast you're going?
Bob: Well, when I'm driving at 15 miles an hour, the fenders rattle; at 25 miles an hour, the windows rattle; and at 30, the motor starts knocking-and that's as fast as it'll go.

Doctor:  And whom did you consult about your illness before you came to me?
Patient:  Only the druggist down at the corner.
Doctor:  And what sort of ridiculous advice did he gave you?
Patient:: He told me to see you!

    A Florida couple have been ordered to take up a carpet - from their front garden.
　　Steve and Mildred Nadwairski say they covered their lawn with carpet

    The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and  tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news　and some bad news for you. Which one would

    A giant lobster, saved from the cooking pot by a

  A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
　　Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, w

    A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
　　"Two pence,"said the man.

I Have His Ear in My Pocket
　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
　　"I’d know him anywhere," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained

Two motorists stopped head-on on a bridge too narrow for their cars to pass.
"I never back up for an idiot." said one driver angrily.

　我同事的儿子小徐刚才给我发来一个英文笑话，他告诉我，这个笑话是他在国外一个著名幽默网站上看到的，

My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头
老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到

The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always ar

Lightning
Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice?
Roy: because after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!
闪电
老师：为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方？
罗伊：因为它击中一个地方一次以后，那个地方就不存在了。