幽默地拒绝外国男人 
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）
女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我很有钱。）
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）
女：Why? Don't you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）
男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like

Cat and Mice
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
"What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch the

Best  Time
Teacher: When is the best time to pick the fruit from the trees?
Student: When the watchman is not here.
最佳时间
老师：从树上摘水果的最佳时间是什么时候？
学生：当看守人不在的时候。

Do You Know me?
Boy: Isn't the principal a dummy?
Girl: Say, do you know who I am?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'm the principal's daughter.
Boy: And do you know who I am?
Girl: No.
Boy: Thanks goodness.
你知道我是谁吗？
男孩：那个校长难道不是个傻瓜吗？
女孩：喂，你知道我是谁吗？
男

      （一）美国货币
美国货币由美元dollar和美分cent组成，one dollar等于100 cents。其纸币bill有一、二、五、十、二十、五十和一百美元等面值；硬币（coin）有一美分（或a penny）、五美分（或a nickel）、十美分（或a dime）和二十五美分（或a quarter）等。在数字前加$表示美元，如：$500表示五百美元；在数字后加C表示美分，如：50C表示50美分；表示由美元和美分组成的钱

Happy but Not Rich 
      An old man died and left his son a lot of money.  But the son was a foolish young man, and he quickly spent all the money,  so that soon he had nothing left. Of course, when that happened, all his friends left him. When

He Needs Treatment Again
As a doctor is examining a patient, his nurse bursts in and says, "Excuse me, but that man you just treated walked out the door and collapsed on the front step. What shall I do?"
"Turn him around," the doctor answered, "so it looks like he was walk

He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人

I don't even know that woman
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman
siting on a bench, passionately kissing.
"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"
我又不认识那个女人

Happiness in Dream
There was a wife who told her husband, "Last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring."
The husband put down his newspaper and said, "Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them."

How much does it cost?
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the

My Wife Will Exchange Them
        A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
　　"Cloth or leather﹖" asked the salesperson.
　　"Makes no difference. "replied customer.
　　"W

Thirteen!
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.

The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George， how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn’t like her， Mother， because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

Two Birds
Teacher:    Here are two birds，one is a swallow，the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student:    I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher:    Please tell us.
Student: