The Lost Purse
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer. A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on

What time is it now?
The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud."
"How will that help?" said the second boy.   
"Just do it," insisted the first.

BUYING A HAT
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam. You loo

AN ENERGETIC WIFE
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?
Husband:  It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.
Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?
Husb

Shut Up
Doctor: Please open your mouth, madam.
Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.
Doctor: Why do you thank me?
Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up.
闭嘴
医生：请张开嘴，夫人。
女士：非常感谢，医生。
医生：为什么你要感谢我呢？
女士：因为我丈夫总是叫我闭嘴。

Make up for Cat
Mr. Ford's car ran over Mrs. Black's cat, so he went over to apologize.
"I would like to make up somehow for that cat, Mrs.Black."
"Ok. Come over tonight and catch mice!"
为猫作出补偿
福特先生的汽车从布莱克夫人的猫身上轧了过去，于是他走过去道歉。
“布莱克夫人，我愿以某种方式为那只猫作出补

You Are Too Late
On the bus a man discovered a pick-pocket's hand thrust into his pocket.
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."
你太晚了
在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。
“对不起，”他对小偷说，“你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。”

Student Recruitment
The meanest principal in the world was worried that his private school would close because of lack of students. One day he called in his assistant and demanded that he go out and recruit more students or be fired.
The next day five new students

THREE PEOPLE
A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, "Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man." "How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave."
三个人
有一个人参观墓地时见到一块墓碑上写着：“在这里安息的是约翰凯利，一个律师，一个诚实的人。”“这是怎么回事

My Boss and I
When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy.   
When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.

Letter of Recommendation
When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation."
The human resources director agreed and said he'

I'll Go There Myself
There was once a landlord who always pretended he was knowledgeable though he was completely unable to read or write.
One day when the landlord was chatting with his guests, a servant came in and gave him a letter which asked him to lend a cow. The lan

　　一天，奥利在音像店遇到了玛雅（丽芙·泰勒饰）。玛雅逐渐使奥利懂得：忘掉过去，幸福就在眼前。
　　本篇对话发生于奥利与玛雅刚刚相识不久后，两人发生了一些小误会，玛雅特地前来道歉，并希望了解奥利的更多情况。
　　Maya: I just want to come here and tell you that I'm really sorry about earlier tonight.
　　Ollie:Oh, you should.
　　Maya: Now you have to let me interview for my paper.
　　Ollie:Is that why you are

例如： I am fed up with his constant complaints.（他常常的抱怨令我厌烦。）
We all became fed up with his long speech.（他的长篇演说我们都觉得讨厌。）
The husband has been fed up with his wife's nagging.（老公对老婆的唠叨感到厌烦。）
如果只用「to be fed up」也可以：
I will not wait for her; I am fed up. (我不想再等她了；我厌了。)
(动词时态是：feed, fed, fed) 可见这句俚语似乎有「被动味道」，如果用 feed，意思又不同了。
例如： The