Holding a baby in her arms, a woman visited a gynecologist.
"Is the baby * fed or is he on bottle?" asked the doctor.
"* fed, of course!" replied the woman.
"Take off your clothes, please." the doctor ordered.
"What? ...But why?"
"Don't

After receiving warnings from his father, a pupil was so worried that he came to school to tell his teacher:"I don't mean to frighten you but my father said somebody would surely get slapped on face if I failed the exam again."
一个小学生的父亲警告他说:“如果没有超过

Why Is He Howling　
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
他为啥喊
牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢．
病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！

Does He Bite?
Reggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
它咬人吗？
里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗

Three Whistles
I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. "And how much are they then?" I asked, pointing to another tray.
"You, sir," replied

Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger s

He Knows the Answer
Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?
Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.
他知道答案
教师：你能告诉我一些有关十八世纪的伟大科学家的事情吗？
学生：我能，先生。他们都死了。

What's your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together"

West Point
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he shou

Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

the lowest grade
"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."
"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."
最低分
学生：“教授先生，我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。”
老师：“我也是。但是这已

the chemical formula for water
Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the ?
Blonde: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!
水的分子式
老师：水的分子式是什么？
花瓶：HIJKLMNO！！
老

Ah, Kids
Like a good father, I took my 4-year old daughter to a so-called "rug concert" at her music school one Saturday morning, called that because you sit on the rug in a group and sing songs. We sat beside a young, attractive mother and her son

Actual Age
The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny," she said, "If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?
"Thirty-four," Johnny answer

Three Reasons
Teacher: Stone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
Stone: Ma says so, Pa says so, and you say so!
三条理由
老师：斯通，说出三条理由来证明地球是圆的。
斯通：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，你也是这么说的。