[Interlude]
[Cut to Shan Yu sitting on top of a tree. He cuts off the very top with his sword. His falcon swoops buy and drops a doll. Shan-Yu takesthe doll, sniffs it, looks surprised, and drops down to the ground]
Shan-Yu [tossing the doll to Hun Strong Man]: What do you see?
Hun Strong Man [feeling the doll]: Black pine, from the high mountains. [Long Hair Hun Man takes the doll from Hun Strong Man. BaldHun Man #1 takes a hair as it passes by him]
Bald Hun Man #1: White horse hair. Imperial stallions.
Long Hair Hun Man [sniffing the doll]: Sulfur, from cannons.
Shan-Yu: This doll came from a village in the Tung Shao Pass, where the Imperial Army's waiting for us.
Hun Archer: We can avoid them easily.
Shan-Yu [shaking his head]: No, the quickest way to the Emperor is through that pass. Besides, the little girl will be missing her doll. Weshould return it to her.
[End Interlude]
[Cut to Mulan by the lake with Mushu, Khan, and Cri-Kee]
Mushu: Hey, oh, ah, no, this is not a good idea. What if somebody sees you?
Mulan [from behind the reeds]: Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one.
Mushu [holding a towel covering his eyes with his ears]: So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks, picky, picky, picky. Well myself Ikinda like that corn chip's smell.
Mulan [running by Mushu and jumps into the lake splashing water on Mushu]: Ahhhhhhh.
Mushu: Okay, all right, all right, that's enough. Now, c'mon, get out before you get all pruny and stuff [holding out a towel towards Mulankeeping his eyes covered].
Mulan: Mushu, if you're so worried, go stand watch.
Mushu: Yeah, yeah, [walking in a womanly fashion speaking in woman's voice] stand watch Mushu while I blow our secret with my stupidgirly habits. [back to normal] Humph, hygiene.
Cri-Kee [alarmed, tugging on Mushu's whiskers]: Chirp, Chirp.
Yao: Me first! Me first! Me First! [Yao, Ling and Chien-Po run by Mushu smacking him in the face with colored boxers]
Mushu [gasps]: Ah. We're doomed! There a couple of things I know they're bound to notice!
[Yao and Ling jump into the water. Chien-Po dips in his toe to check temperature then jumps in causing a large wave. Yao and Ling ridethe wave towards Mulan. Mulan sees them and hides her face behind a lily pad]
Yao [calling]: Hey, Ping.
[Mulan peeks over the lily pad and spreads it on the water covering her chest]
Mulan [speaking nervously and unnaturally in a manly voice]: Oh hi guys, I didn't know you were *here*. [Yao, Ling and Chien-Po share"this boy is strange" looks] I was just washing, so now I'm clean and I'm gonna go. Bye, bye. [Mulan hides behind a rock keeping her frontfacing the rock]
Ling [from behind Mulan]: Come back here. I know we were jerks to you before so lets start over. [extending his hand to shake hands withMulan] Hi, I'm Ling!
Mulan [covering her chest with her left arm, she turns and shakes his hand with an outstretched right arm, smiling]: Heh, heh. [Mulan turnsand wades away from Ling and runs into Chien-Po]
Chien-Po [taking a lily pad off his head]: And I'm Chien-Po.
Mulan [waving slightly and smiling]: Hello Chien-Po.
[Yao stands on top of a rock looking down at the others. Mulan looks down into the water and hides her eyes with her free hand]
Yao: And I am Yao, king of the rock. And there's nothin' you girls can do about it.
Ling [taking a fighting stance]: Oh, yeah? Well, I think Ping [elbowing Mulan] and I could take you.
Mulan [wading away]: I really don't want to take him anywhere.
Ling [following Mulan]: Ping, we have to fight!
Mulan: No we don't. [unnaturally] We could just close our eyes and swim around.
Ling: C'mon don't be such a g--Ouch! Something bit me.
Mushu [popping out of the water between Mulan and Ling]: What a nasty flavor.
Ling [with fear and gusto]: Snake!
Chien-Po [while all three of them climb up the rock and on each other]: Snake, snake.
[Mulan whistles for Khan and wades back to shore. Khan comes close enough to shore and Mulan hides behind Khan as she wraps a towelaround her body]
[Cut to Yao, Ling and Chien-Po calmed down sitting on the rock]
Ling: Some king of the rock! [Yao pushes him off the rock]
[Cut to Mulan with towel wrapped around her]
Mulan: Boy, that was close.
Mushu [brushing his teeth]: No, that was vile! You owe me big!
Mulan: I never want to see a naked man again. [the rest of the troops run by naked and jump into the lake]
Mushu: Hey, don't look at me. I ain't biting any more butts.
[Cut to Mulan outside Chi Fu's Tent having dressed fully. Chi Fu and Shang are talking from inside]
Chi Fu [fading in]: You think your troops are ready to fight? Hah! They would not last a minute against the Huns.
Shang: They completed their training.
Chi Fu: Those *boys* are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be Captain. Once the general reads my report, your troops will neversee battle.
Mushu [from outside the tent]: Oh no you don't. I've worked to hard to get Mulan into this war. [to Cri-Kee] This guy's messing with myplan.
Shang [grabbing onto the front of Chi Fu's clip board]: We're not finished.
Chi Fu [pulling the board away]: Be careful, Captain. The General may be your father, but I am the Emperor's council. And, oh, by theway, huh, I got that job on my own. [opens the entrance to the tent for Shang] You're dismissed.
[Shang storms out of the tent and starts to walk by Mulan]
Mulan [in a manly voice]: Hey, I'll hold him and you punch, heh, heh... [Shang walks by without reacting] or not. [calling out to Shang] For what it's worth, I think you're a GREat captain. [Shang pauses to glance back, then continues forward]
Mushu [looking at Mulan's fixed gaze on Shang]: I saw that!
Mulan [innocently]: What?
Mushu [teasing]: You like him don't you?
Mulan: No, I--
Mushu: Yeah right, Yeah sure. Look, [pointing to Mulan's tent] go to your tent. [Mulan walks away with a look of delight. Mushu talks toCri-Kee] I think it's time we took this war into our own hands [rubbing hands together].
[Mushu and Cri-Kee wait outside Chi Fu's Tent. Chi Fu emerges with carrying a scrub brush and wrapped in a towel and with bigshowering slippers on his feet. He whistles as he walks off. Mushu and Cri-Kee enter his tent. Cri-Kee uses his legs to write up a letter. Hefinishes and Mushu takes the paper]
Mushu: Okay, okay, let me see what you've got. From General Li, dear son, we're waiting for the huns at the pass and it would mean a lotif you'd come and back us up. [sarcastically] That's GREat except you forgot, "and since we're all out of potpourri, maybe you wouldn'tmind bringing up some." Hellooooo, this is the army! Make it sound more urgent, please! You know what I'm talkin' about? [Cri-Kee startswriting the note again] That's better, much better. [taking the note] Okay, Let's go.
[Cut to Khan drinking water from the trough. Mushu is on his back]
Mushu: Khan-ie baby, hey, we need a ride. [Khan squirts Mushu off his back with water from his mouth]
[Cut to Chi Fu walking out of the lake wrapped in a towel, sounds of laughter can be heart from the troops]
Chi Fu [muttering]: Insubordinate ruffians. [then calling to the troops] You men owe me a new pair of slippers. And I do not squeal like agirl. [a panda bear chomps down on the slipper Chi Fu is holding] Aaaaaahhhhhh!
Mushu [sitting on top of the panda bear behind a dummy of a soldier using sticks to gesticulate with the dummy's arms to push the notetowards Chi Fu. Cri-Kee works the mouth]: Urgent news from the general! [Chi Fu looks over the panda] What's the matter, you've neverseen a 'black and white' before?
Chi Fu: Who are you?
Mushu: Excuse me! I think the question is: who are you? We're in a war man! There's no time for stupid questions. I should have yourhat for that, [the panda starts walking forward] snatch it right off of your head [swiping with an arm at Chi Fu's hat. Mushu turns the upperhalf of the dummy around after the panda passes Chi Fu. Chi Fu begins reading the message]. But I'm feeling gracious today, so carry onbefore I report you. [the panda walks up a tree taking Mushu and Cri-Kee with him out of sight]
Chi Fu [looking around for Mushu but not finding him, then runs into Shang's tent]: Captain. Urgent news from the General. We're neededat the front.
Mushu [from up in the tree]: Pack your bags Cri-Kee, we're movin' out. [Cri-Kee high fives Mushu]
[Song: A Girl Worth Fighting For]
Army Chorus [troops walking up hill]:For a long time we've been marching off to battle
Yao [close-up of Yao, then a shot of 2 cows]: In a thundering herd we feel a lot like cattle
Cow [spoken]: Moo
Army Chorus [showing troops marching]:Like the pounding beat our aching feet aren't easy to ignore
Ling [catching up to Yao and Chien-Po]:Hey, think of instead,A girl worth fighting for [Yao, Ling and Chien-Po look upwards dreamily]
Mulan [spoken from behind]: Huh?
Ling [grabbing Mulan and drawing her close while pulling out a centerfold]:That's what I said, a girl worth fighting for [Mulan runs away seeing the centerfold]
[artistry section where the images are drawn like painted people. Ling is seen looking at a woman and then kissing her]I want her paler than the moon with eyes that shine like stars
Yao [lifting and lowering a woman over his head then opening his chest to show a gaping wound that we can see the woman through]:My girl will marvel at my strength, adore my battle scars
Chien-Po [Chien-Po and a woman circle around then land on the edge of a large bowl of rice as a cow, pig and chicken fall beside them]:I couldn't care less what she'll wear or what she looks likeIt all depends on what she cooks like:Beef, pork, chicken... [end painted people section, the last image fades into statues that the troops just passed]
All Three:Mmm...
Yao [looking at Mulan while crossing the river with swords over their heads. Mulan looks disgusted and hurries forward]:Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer
Ling [with armor full of water to make him look muscular]:And I'll bet the ladies love a man in armor [the water leaks out making Ling look like his normal self]
Army Chorus [Mushu whistles to ladies working in the rice field from out of the carriage holding cannons. Cri-Kee looks shocked. Theladies look and giggle at Mulan who hides her face]:You can guess what we have missed the most since we went off to warWhat do we want?A girl worth fighting for!
Yao [Mulan walks away from Yao and into Chien-Po]:My girl will think I have no faults
Chien-Po:That I'm a major find
Mulan [Caught between Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po who all look up dreamily waiting for her ideal woman. She is forced to speak (sing)]:[spoken] Uh, [singing] How about a girl who's got a brain, [Yao starts to look unimpressed]Who always speaks her mind? [Mulan shrugs her shoulders]
Ling, Yao and Chien-Po [disdainfully, looking disappointed and disgusted]: Nah!
Ling [grabbing Mulan's shoulder and leaning on her, she takes his hand off and shakes her head disapprovingly. Ling leans against thecarriage of cannons]:My manly ways and turns of phrase are sure to thrill her
Yao [hitting Khan so that the carriage runs out from under Ling. Ling looks upset then falls in the mud]:He thinks he's such a lady-killer!
Chi Fu:I've a girl back home who's unlike any other.
Yao [aside to Mulan]:Yeah, the only girl who'd love him is his mother! [Mulan smiles]
Army Men [lining up locking arms across each others shoulders with Mulan in the middle to her discontent]:But when we come home in victory they'll line up at the door!
Ling [sitting on top of Chien-Po]:What do we want?
Army Chorus:A girl worth fighting for!
Ling:Wish that I had
Army Chorus [Mulan breaks away and walks in the opposite direction of the army]:A girl worth fighting for!(whistle) [Mulan sees Ling, Yao, and Chien-Po with snowballs about to pelt her so she turns around] A girl worth fighting--
[All have stunned looks on their faces]
[End Song]
[Cut to ruins of a burned out village. The soldiers walk through the singed gate and look around at the few planks that remain from thebuildings]
