Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
I''m sorry = You''ll be sorry.
We need = I want.
It''s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You''ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don''t want you to.
I''m not upset = Of course I''m upset, you moron!
You''re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You''re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I''m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you''re really not going to like.
I''ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I''m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just aGREe with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you''re dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don''t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I''m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
The same old thing = Nothing.
Nothing = Everything.
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It''s just that you''re such an asshole.
